This was written by Bradley's friend Kyra who will be speaking at the "Helmers 2008 Reflections Gala" on November 7th, (which of course I will be there to watch her give her speech).
When I think about my friends with autism, I think, "WOW, what great friends we are!" But how can that be when we're so different? The truth is that they are more like me than they are different. My friends with autism have families and friends. They need food, water, shelter, and love. We do a lot of the same things. They go to school just like me. Some of my friends are on an AYSO soccer team. They play with toys, watch movies, and go to birthday parties. We all experience the same feelings. They get happy, sad, and excited. They get their feelings hurt and get frustrated. All of these things I do too.
We're different, but in a good way. My friends with autism sometimes act differently then I do. They like to do repeating behaviors, like tapping or playing with their hands. It seems to be something that makes them feel good. My friends sometimes make unusual sounds. Sometimes it may seem like they're throwing a tantrum, but they're really just trying to communicate that something is wrong or they're over stimulated. They really like to follow a set routine and when they don't, they can sometimes get very upset. When I first met them, it seemed like they were ignoring me, but they sometimes just live in their own world and didn't know that I was trying to be friends with them.
They communicate differently than I do. They don't talk very much or not at all. Some use sign language or electronic communication devices such as MINI-MO's or GO-Talks. These devices are they're voice.
My friends socialize in different ways than I do, or sometimes don't socialize at all, but we can be taught how to do it differently. If we both learn how to understand each other, then we can meet in the middle and have a good friendship. When I first met them, it seemed like they were ignoring me, but it just took a while for us to get used to each other. Once we had been together for a short period, we warmed up to each other. After a while, we started to feel a connection and let each other in.
It makes me sad when people hurt my friend's feelings because they don't understand them. People shouldn't judge my friends at first sight because they aren't always what they seem. Understanding the differences between us has helped us become better friends. I hope that people will get to know my friends, so they can be amazed, just like me.
I started volunteering in a SDC class, aka Special Day Class, expecting to help the students. But I also gained a lot, like new friendships and a better understanding of autism. It's fun and I really like it. I feel good about making a difference in their lives. I've learned ways to understand how my friends communicate with me when they don't use words. I can understand what they want or how they're feeling by their facial expressions, the way the interact with me, how they get my attention, and how they react to things. I've learned how to communicate with them in a way that they understand me. I learned to use sign language. I use simple sentences when I talk to them. I give them tickles and hugs. Now that I know these things, it has enabled us to be great friends.
My friends with autism are amazing and they make me happy. They accept me for who I am and I love playing with them. They're always happy to see me. I know I'm making a difference in their lives and they're makeing a difference in mine. We're so different, yet so the same. WOW!
All I can say is that we definately need more Kyra's in the world to make it a better place to live.
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